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Title:
Bloodwine, Improved
Author(s):
cynsanity

Okay guys and gals, ghouls and ghost, revenants, liches, Nachzehrer and most of all vampires - I have finally found a butcher willing to sell blood to yours truly, and have experimented with it since I got my first bottle (1.5 liters = 2 Euros). I have tried the bloodwine recipe as detailed in forum threads and a few other places - and they all had one thing in common: Tasted horrible.

Now, the thing is, animal blood (in my case pig's blood - the butcher doesn't have access to beef blood and assured that there are at least 7 signatures stating that this blood is for human consumption and free of any diseases) doesn't taste like human. Cold animal blood tastes like nothing, so we have a good starting point there - but sometimes, you don't have a fridge handy and you might drink a glass a little slower... so, how can we make the taste better? I was pondering that while using a funnel to make blood ice-cubes (recipe on request) with the help of my nifteh mother, when suddenly, my mother had a great idea as I remarked that the glucose-enhanced blood was tasting sweet-ish: "Why don't you add glucose to the blood-wine?"

And lo and behold, it worked, and I am now sitting here, comfortably sipping blood wine that doesn't taste like suck.

My Recipe:
1 part blood
2 parts red wine
1/10th part glucose

First, mix the blood with the wine; I don't know whether it is common to get the animal blood in a specially prepared way to keep it from coagulating, but take care to stir and churn the blood and the wine until all possible coagulations you already had are gone.

The tricky part is to get the glucose right; I recommend pouring out a glass of the blood+wine - mix to try that. Add little amounts of glucose (always remembering to stir it well - we're at room temperature, by the way) until the nasty taste goes away and it starts tasting more like blood again. The exact amount may vary for everyone who tries it; I estimated it at about 1/10th, but it's not a surefire way to say 'oh, and add 1/10th glucose and you'll love it'.

Experiment until you find the right amount of glucose in your control cup, then calculate how much you need for the full amount of blood+wine you have, and then slowly add it to the mix.

Stir for about 5 minutes to make sure that the ingredients mix really well, but do not use an electrical tool for that. I don't know why, but it tastes absolutely dead and does nothing for me after having used a electrical hand blender. Maybe the cell walls break or something like that, I am not a medical expert - but treat your blood like a friend. Be careful and nice to it while stirring. After all, it's going to be your new best friend in the fridge.

After you're done, fill into a bottle and store at the coldest part of your freezer. After you poured yourself a glass.


~cynsanity, May 2010


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