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Welcome, visitor!
Confused? Unsure of what all this 'real vampire' jazz is about?
You're not alone.
And you're NOT crazy!
If you are the partner (or potential partner, or even just a friend) of a real
vampire who has pointed you in the direction of this page, consider yourself
blessed. Why? They value their relationship with you enough, or at least feel
have you have an open mind, and they want you to understand the concept of "real
vampires" and how it applies to them.
There is a tendency in human nature to resist anything that challenges our
preconceived perceptions of reality. In most cases, such an attitude serves
us well and manifests itself as a healthy skepticism. In other instances, it
may result in a close-minded refusal by otherwise intelligent people to consider
compelling evidence--especially when that evidence seems to defy common sense
or prevailing scientific theory. Many past revelations of science, for example,
have met such resistance--a round earth, evolution, relativity, continental
drift, quantum theory, an expanding universe--to name a few. By the same token,
some of our experiences, no matter how strange they may seem to anyone else,
leave us no room for doubt.
As a result, real vampires, whether by nature or by circumstance, are often
forced to live under a mantle of secrecy, and while that may sound very cloak-and-dagger,
believe them when they say it's not all that fun or exciting. In many ways it's,
well, scary to tell someone about their vampirism (ever been made fun of? Multiply
that by 100 and add a big dose of fear and superstition and you get the idea),
for fear that whoever they tell won't believe them or think they're a raving
lunatic. Or even worse, be scared of them and/or never want to talk to them
again. And it's often MORE difficult to tell someone we've known for a long
time, or are very close to, because any rejection from them would hurt much
worse than from say, some random person on an e-list. This is not necessarily
to be interpreted as meaning that we don't trust the person enough - only that
any rejection from them has much more impact and hits much harder.
Not all of us feel the term "vampire" is appropriate, or accurate
(Some of us use the term "Sanguinarian" instead) and "donor"
sounds so clinical - many partnerships like that are between lovers.) But, these
are terms that are commonly recognized - and newbie or newly awakened vampires
or the vampire-curious will be able to find sites like this much easier as a
result. Similarly, the term "feeding" is a catchall, an easy way to
refer to the difference between eating normal food and, say, drinking blood.
It's not meant to imply that we need vast quantities or an assumption that we
harm the person that lets us feed from them. That's right, I did say "Lets
us" - we don't "attack" anyone because of a need to feed. (Although
we have been known to look at people funny when we're Thirsty, so many of us
tend to avoid being around most people at these times, just to avoid difficult
situations and/or unwanted questions.)
This is not a role, a game, or a lifestyle for us. This is just The Way We
Are. Yes, some of us DO play roleplaying games, but whether we do or don't play
RPG's offline or online doesn't change the fact that we are *real* vampires.
We don't automatically go around wearing capes, sleeping in coffins, speaking
in bad romanian accents and attacking strangers. Many of us look like your next
door neighbor - some of us are medical personnel, computer help desk staff,
even church or office workers, among many other professions. Some of us gravitate
to night shifts, others stay on day shift because that's the only shift for
their job - office workers, for instance. And many of us DO follow some sort
of religion, whether it's christianity, pagan or even buddhism. (And there's
many faiths that I didn't mention, so don't think that's a be-all, end-all list
of religions we follow.)
Religion can sometimes cause internal conflicts within a real vampire - stereotypical
vampires in many movies are evil, killing anyone just to feed. To be brought
up with this image, then to discover that you are, or possibly are, a vampire
yourself...well, this has been known to cause many to doubt whether they've
been true to their faith, or to feel that the diety(s) of their faith have "punished"
them somehow. Sometimes this can even cause severe depression because they can't
reconcile this within themselves.
Preconceptions and stereotypes can also cause internal conflicts - I've talked
to many who believed that being a vampire meant they had to do certain things
- such as not eating anything with garlic - well, outside of finding some way
to feed, it doesn't mean we *have* to do anything! I advocate self-understanding,
because self-understanding will go a long way to learning to deal with the problems
the vampire may or may not have - For instance, I sunburn easily and my eyes
are excruciatingly light-sensitive. Therefore, I avoid sunshine as much as reasonably
possible (I never was a tanning fanatic in the first place, so it's no big personal
loss) and I always wear sunglasses during the day. Do I worry that someone will
think I'm weird for doing this? Occasionally. Do I care? Hell no! My visual
and physical comfort - and thus, my health - are far more important to ME than
what anyone thinks of my appearance. I wear long sleeves and pants all year
round, regardless of temperature. (And I *love* to shop in places with air-conditioning
in the summer!)
This site exists to not only help real vampires cope, but to help non-vampires
understand. Please, browse around and read what different vampires have to say,
see some of the safety procedures we follow, and relax, no one is going to jump
out of the shadows and attack you while spooky music plays.
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