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We all have what is best described as "stomach trouble" now
and then - whether vampire or not - and it can be due to a variety of
causes, ranging from food allergies to food poisoning - if you know you
are allergic to a specific food, the best bet is to avoid it - and if
you are fatally allergic (as with some people who have peanut allergies)
it becomes even more imperative to know WHAT is in the foods you're eating!
But for situations where you have to deal with foods that you know "don't
agree with you", here's a selection of ways to reduce or eliminate
digestive trouble.
COMMON CAUSES
Dietary changes: If you've
pretty much stopped eating greasy foods for a long time, then suddenly
have a greasy food meal, that will sometimes give you problems - just
because your body's not used to the grease in the foods after such a
long absence. Avoid red meat entirely for a few months, then have a
big 1-pound slab, rare. Ho boy, will you feel THAT for the next several
hours. :)
Food Allergies / Sensitivities:
These can be to either specific normal foods (of which dairy foods -
milk, cheeses, cream, etc. - are the most common problem), or in the
case of genetically modified foods, to a component of the modification
- just as an example, corn that has genetic components of, say, fish
or something to give it bug resistance. If you're allergic to fish but
not corn, you could still be affected. (And this is part of the reason
that genetically modified food is such a "big deal" to some
people - certain allergies, especially peanut allergies, tend to be
more severe than others, potentially even life threatening. For example,
say the corn has genetic components from peanuts - give that to a person
who's allergic to peanuts, and they could possible die from it if it
triggers the allergy, even though they haven't touched a single peanut.
Things like this have happened...)
Hormonal changes: These can be from
aging - no matter what age you are, pregnancy (if you're female, and
almost everyone knows about the stereotypical "pickles and ice
cream" cravings), perhaps even some medications will affect your
hormones. Hey, Viagra's supposed to do that, and look how popular it
is. :)
Spoiled food: Yes, you too can know
that special joy that comes from counting your bathroom tiles....for
the third time....in one sitting. :) Food that's past it's prime should
never be served....but we all know it sometimes happens anyway. Not
just at home, but at restaurants too. I've had tomatoes from Certain
Fast Food Chains (who shall remain nameless...just sniff those tomatoes
before eating them, no matter where you get them from, k?) who seem
to have a habit of using tomatoes until they're used up, regardless
of whether they're actually still safe to eat. I'm sure it all depends
on the managers of the place...some are more anal about food quality
than others. But anyway, that can certainly cause you to have stomach
problems or worse, a case of nearly nonstop diarrhea until it works
out of your system. The type of bacteria responsible can vary with the
food - eggs (and chicken) commonly have salmonella, pork has trichinosis,
etc. I used to know someone who would eat one mildly bad chicken wing
and be out of work for a week. Me? a couple trips to the bathroom later,
and I'm fine. Reactions depend on your immune system.
DIGESTIVE SOLUTIONS
Beano: The old standby for gas
problems from beans, it may also help you digest whatever it is that
normally disagrees with you. (I've had relatively good luck using Beano
for non-bean digestive problems, so give it a try.) I know Beano itself
is not necessarily available anywhere, some alternates would be "charcoal
capsules" or "digestive enzyme combination" pills. You
may need to do a web search (I recommend Google)
to find your local equivalent.
Yogurts with active yogurt cultures:
If you have, or think you have, a milk/lactose intolerance problem,
try some of this. One yogurt, daily, should reduce the problems you
have with lactose products, although it may not eliminate them completely
if you have severe problems.
Hot Tea: I like mine with cream
and sugar. This can help settle an upset stomach, but you may have to
experiment with brands to see what works for you - not all brands will
have the same effect, and some are just plain vile. :( And stay away
from that fake cream / fake sugar crap, ewwwww!
Peppermints: An old old old herbal
remedy for an upset stomach. Buy boxes of Altoids or a similar product.
You want the mints to have real peppermint OIL, not peppermint flavor.
Ideally, the primary ingredient should be "Peppermint oil".
:) Penguin mints have peppermint oil, but they have Nutrasweet, so I
don't recommend them as a result. Penguin mints happened to have caffeine,
so I know they're popular in some circles. I'd rather see caffeine added
to regular Altoids instead. :)
LONG-TERM PREVENTIVE MEASURES
Food diary: Keeping a log of what
you eat, in what quantities (even if you just write "meal"
or "snack" or something to judge relative sizes), and in what
combinations is a good way to keep track of what really aggravates your
digestion. This is the best, and most basic, procedure for determining
what your food allergies REALLY are. On the flip side, if the
sheer number of foods that disagree with you are that many, then keep
track of what DOES agree with you. Either way, you're bound to get some
idea of what you can and cannot eat, and that will make a difference
in the long run - once you learn what food to avoid or not avoid, eating
becomes much easier. :)
Avoid junk food / fast food:
Putting a lot of artificial chemicals in your system does not do
anyone any good. If it has no nutritional value, your body still has
to work and stress itself to process it OUT of your body. I'm not saying
cold-turkey-quit - I still enjoy the occasional chocolate bar or fast-food
burger - But keep it in LOW moderation. Junk food / fast food should
NOT be a large chunk of anyone's diet.
~SphynxCatVP, Sept 2004
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