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We all have what is best described as "stomach trouble" now and then
- whether vampire or not - and it can be due to a variety of causes, ranging
from food allergies to food poisoning - if you know you are allergic to a specific
food, the best bet is to avoid it - and if you are fatally allergic (as with
some people who have peanut allergies) it becomes even more imperative to know
WHAT is in the foods you're eating! But for situations where you have to deal
with foods that you know "don't agree with you", here's a selection
of ways to reduce or eliminate digestive trouble.
COMMON CAUSES
Dietary changes: If you've pretty
much stopped eating greasy foods for a long time, then suddenly have a greasy
food meal, that will sometimes give you problems - just because your body's
not used to the grease in the foods after such a long absence. Avoid red meat
entirely for a few months, then have a big 1-pound slab, rare. Ho boy, will
you feel THAT for the next several hours. :)
Food Allergies / Sensitivities: These
can be to either specific normal foods (of which dairy foods - milk, cheeses,
cream, etc. - are the most common problem), or in the case of genetically
modified foods, to a component of the modification - just as an example, corn
that has genetic components of, say, fish or something to give it bug resistance.
If you're allergic to fish but not corn, you could still be affected. (And
this is part of the reason that genetically modified food is such a "big
deal" to some people - certain allergies, especially peanut allergies,
tend to be more severe than others, potentially even life threatening. For
example, say the corn has genetic components from peanuts - give that to a
person who's allergic to peanuts, and they could possible die from it if it
triggers the allergy, even though they haven't touched a single peanut. Things
like this have happened...)
Hormonal changes: These can be from aging
- no matter what age you are, pregnancy (if you're female, and almost everyone
knows about the stereotypical "pickles and ice cream" cravings),
perhaps even some medications will affect your hormones. Hey, Viagra's supposed
to do that, and look how popular it is. :)
Spoiled food: Yes, you too can know that
special joy that comes from counting your bathroom tiles....for the third
time....in one sitting. :) Food that's past it's prime should never be served....but
we all know it sometimes happens anyway. Not just at home, but at restaurants
too. I've had tomatoes from Certain Fast Food Chains (who shall remain nameless...just
sniff those tomatoes before eating them, no matter where you get them from,
k?) who seem to have a habit of using tomatoes until they're used up, regardless
of whether they're actually still safe to eat. I'm sure it all depends on
the managers of the place...some are more anal about food quality than others.
But anyway, that can certainly cause you to have stomach problems or worse,
a case of nearly nonstop diarrhea until it works out of your system. The type
of bacteria responsible can vary with the food - eggs (and chicken) commonly
have salmonella, pork has trichinosis, etc. I used to know someone who would
eat one mildly bad chicken wing and be out of work for a week. Me? a couple
trips to the bathroom later, and I'm fine. Reactions depend on your immune
system.
DIGESTIVE SOLUTIONS
Beano: The old standby for gas problems
from beans, it may also help you digest whatever it is that normally disagrees
with you. (I've had relatively good luck using Beano for non-bean digestive
problems, so give it a try.) I know Beano itself is not necessarily available
anywhere, some alternates would be "charcoal capsules" or "digestive
enzyme combination" pills. You may need to do a web search (I recommend
Google) to find your local equivalent.
Yogurts with active yogurt cultures:
If you have, or think you have, a milk/lactose intolerance problem,
try some of this. One yogurt, daily, should reduce the problems you have with
lactose products, although it may not eliminate them completely if you have
severe problems.
Hot Tea: I like mine with cream and sugar.
This can help settle an upset stomach, but you may have to experiment with
brands to see what works for you - not all brands will have the same effect,
and some are just plain vile. :( And stay away from that fake cream / fake
sugar crap, ewwwww!
Peppermints: An old old old herbal remedy
for an upset stomach. Buy boxes of Altoids or a similar product. You want
the mints to have real peppermint OIL, not peppermint flavor. Ideally, the
primary ingredient should be "Peppermint oil". :) Penguin mints
have peppermint oil, but they have Nutrasweet, so I don't recommend them as
a result. Penguin mints happened to have caffeine, so I know they're popular
in some circles. I'd rather see caffeine added to regular Altoids instead.
:)
LONG-TERM PREVENTIVE MEASURES
Food diary: Keeping a log of what you
eat, in what quantities (even if you just write "meal" or "snack"
or something to judge relative sizes), and in what combinations is a good
way to keep track of what really aggravates your digestion. This is the best,
and most basic, procedure for determining what your food allergies REALLY
are. On the flip side, if the sheer number of foods that disagree with
you are that many, then keep track of what DOES agree with you. Either way,
you're bound to get some idea of what you can and cannot eat, and that will
make a difference in the long run - once you learn what food to avoid or not
avoid, eating becomes much easier. :)
Avoid junk food / fast food: Putting
a lot of artificial chemicals in your system does not do anyone any good.
If it has no nutritional value, your body still has to work and stress itself
to process it OUT of your body. I'm not saying cold-turkey-quit - I still
enjoy the occasional chocolate bar or fast-food burger - But keep it in LOW
moderation. Junk food / fast food should NOT be a large chunk of anyone's
diet.
This article is presented as part of an ongoing effort to present other views outside of, as well as within, the online vampire community. Those of us who consider ourselves vampiric don't always look at things from the same viewpoint due to our life experiences. As such, the views and opinions contained in this article are entirely those of the author(s), and may not necessarily be shared by SphynxCatVP. The webmaster is not under obligation to update or otherwise keep current the contents of this article. Most importantly, only you can decide for yourself whether this article or any of the author(s) other views are useful or applicable to you - you are responsible for using your own reasoning and judgement, so judge wisely.
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