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Awakening: The realization that what you are isn't what you thought you were.
A change of state without a change of form. Like awakening from sleep, it is
the process of a new consciousness arising. For sanguinarians, this is the realization
that you need blood to live. It can be either triggered or spontaneous. Here,
I will try to explain what will change from pre to post-awakening, and also
what will not change.
Typically, the awakening process begins between 13-16 years of age, around puberty
in other words. Because of this, some of the changes from puberty can be mistaken
for changes due to awakening. The list below is of which things are most likely
based in puberty, and which can (though not necessarily always)
result from awakening. Note, this is NOT!!! a "symptom" list. It cannot be used
as such, it is merely to let some know that certain changes are not always due
to awakening, but are completely normal for anyone.
INCREASED STRENGTH
Most likely due to puberty, especially in males. Testosterone works with
muscle development, and can cause an increase in strength. Though this does
not occur overnight, it can seem that way. Simply learning to adjust to the
new strength as it occurs helps.
SUN SENSITIVITY (eyes)
Neither puberty nor awakening is most likely the cause. Sudden sun sensitivity
can be due to illness, headache, new glasses or contact, and certain medications.
Typically, the sanguine has sun sensitive eyes before awakening, though they
do get more sensitive with age.
FASTER GROWTH (Body)
Puberty. Also known as a "growth spurt".
FASTER GROWTH (Hair / Nails)
Puberty. During puberty all growth is sped up somewhat, so you will notice
your hair and nails grow as fast as everything else, or occasionally faster.
INCREASED HEIGHT / WEIGHT
Again, Puberty. For the same reason as you grow faster. With that faster
growth, your height and weight will increase proportionally. Sometimes you
may find yourself getting thinner as your height growth overtakes weight gain.
BLOOD THIRST
Awakening, somewhat. Typically, before awakening you will realize that "something
is missing" or an occasional puzzling thirst, where no matter what you drink,
its not what you want. The Blood thirst doesn't come with Awakening,
but is realized at Awakening.
INCREASED SEX DRIVE
Puberty. Hormones wreak havoc on a person at puberty, and one of the most
noticeable changes is often in sex drive. This is a puberty change, not an
Awakening change.
MENTAL / THOUGH PROCESS CHANGE
Both puberty and Awakening. Puberty will cause some thought pattern changes
due to hormonal reasons, mostly dealing with sex and/or aggression, while
Awakening mental changes (unknown cause) are more along the lines of a more
violent thought pattern and fulfillment of the Thirst. This can be exceptionally
confusing time due to conflicting emotions. A passive person can be down right
scared by the mental shift in thought.
To the Sanguines: You Aren't Alone In This!
It is very uncomfortable and confusing, and you don't have to face it on your
own. You do have control over your mind and body, still, it just will take
some more control and practice. You don't have to act on the thoughts, and
it is usually best if you don't. To friends of Sanguines: Be patient with
your friend's mood swings. It is a very confusing time, and hard on them.
They will be truly appreciative for your stable support.
INCREASED SHARPNESS OF CANINE
TEETH
Neither. If your Canines are getting sharper, Sanguine or normal, it probably
means you have been wearing on them. Take note of things you do when nervous
or irritated, and ask if you grind your teeth in your sleep. You will probably
find times where you grind the canine against other teeth, which may cause
a sharper feeling.
DEPRESSION/FEELING ALONE
Puberty. Congrats, you are a teenager. Don't worry, you'll live. Unglue the
back of your hand from your forehead and go mope.
PREFERENCE FOR NIGHT OVER DAY
Neither. This is normal. A lot of people of many ages prefer night to day
or vise versa.
As you can see, most of the things people typically attribute to awakening
are more likely due to puberty. So what does change? Very little. After awakening,
you are still who you were before, only the what has changed...
or more accurately, the realization of what. People aren't "turned" sanguinarian,
it is a born-with condition. Typically, the light-sensitivity and "empty" or
"not-whole" feeling many sanguines experience are present before awakening,
just the reasons for the "not-whole" feeling isn't known.
When awakening occurs with a trigger (such as an instinctive reach for blood,
or blood ingestion not your own) the awakening seems to be quicker and smoother.
The person sees the stimulus, feels the reaction to blood ingestion, and the
only major hurdle are mental ones. This is not to say these mental hurdles are
small ones. Based in religion and sociology, from a young age we are taught
that drinking the blood of anything is bad. This belief is stronger in some
countries then others (such as United States vs. African nations) and so the
strength of the mental blocks will vary based on each persons background and
beliefs.
Without a trigger, the awakening process is either much harder, or possibly
completely blocked. The sanguine doesn't have something to fall back on to associate
the cause with the effect. They also don't have the trigger to help break some
of the mental barriers.
Now, nobody can tell you if you are or are not a sanguinarian
just by a description of yourself sent by e-mail. It would be like making a
medical diagnosis without seeing the patient. All I can tell you
to do is look inside yourself, and decide for yourself if you are or are not.
I can't do that for you.
~Sarasvati
This article is presented as part of an ongoing effort to present other views outside of, as well as within, the online vampire community. Those of us who consider ourselves vampiric don't always look at things from the same viewpoint due to our life experiences. As such, the views and opinions contained in this article are entirely those of the author(s), and may not necessarily be shared by SphynxCatVP. The webmaster is not under obligation to update or otherwise keep current the contents of this article. Most importantly, only you can decide for yourself whether this article or any of the author(s) other views are useful or applicable to you - you are responsible for using your own reasoning and judgement, so judge wisely.
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