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Title:
Awakening Process
Author(s):
Sarasvati Faolchú

Awakening: The realization that what you are isn't what you thought you were. A change of state without a change of form. Like awakening from sleep, it is the process of a new consciousness arising. For sanguinarians, this is the realization that you need blood to live. It can be either triggered or spontaneous. Here, I will try to explain what will change from pre to post-awakening, and also what will not change.

Typically, the awakening process begins between 13-16 years of age, around puberty in other words. Because of this, some of the changes from puberty can be mistaken for changes due to awakening. The list below is of which things are most likely based in puberty, and which can (though not necessarily always) result from awakening. Note, this is NOT!!! a "symptom" list. It cannot be used as such, it is merely to let some know that certain changes are not always due to awakening, but are completely normal for anyone.

INCREASED STRENGTH

Most likely due to puberty, especially in males. Testosterone works with muscle development, and can cause an increase in strength. Though this does not occur overnight, it can seem that way. Simply learning to adjust to the new strength as it occurs helps.

SUN SENSITIVITY (eyes)

Neither puberty nor awakening is most likely the cause. Sudden sun sensitivity can be due to illness, headache, new glasses or contact, and certain medications. Typically, the sanguine has sun sensitive eyes before awakening, though they do get more sensitive with age.

FASTER GROWTH (Body)

Puberty. Also known as a "growth spurt".

FASTER GROWTH (Hair / Nails)

Puberty. During puberty all growth is sped up somewhat, so you will notice your hair and nails grow as fast as everything else, or occasionally faster.

INCREASED HEIGHT / WEIGHT

Again, Puberty. For the same reason as you grow faster. With that faster growth, your height and weight will increase proportionally. Sometimes you may find yourself getting thinner as your height growth overtakes weight gain.

BLOOD THIRST

Awakening, somewhat. Typically, before awakening you will realize that "something is missing" or an occasional puzzling thirst, where no matter what you drink, its not what you want. The Blood thirst doesn't come with Awakening, but is realized at Awakening.

INCREASED SEX DRIVE

Puberty. Hormones wreak havoc on a person at puberty, and one of the most noticeable changes is often in sex drive. This is a puberty change, not an Awakening change.

MENTAL / THOUGH PROCESS CHANGE

Both puberty and Awakening. Puberty will cause some thought pattern changes due to hormonal reasons, mostly dealing with sex and/or aggression, while Awakening mental changes (unknown cause) are more along the lines of a more violent thought pattern and fulfillment of the Thirst. This can be exceptionally confusing time due to conflicting emotions. A passive person can be down right scared by the mental shift in thought.

To the Sanguines: You Aren't Alone In This!
It is very uncomfortable and confusing, and you don't have to face it on your own. You do have control over your mind and body, still, it just will take some more control and practice. You don't have to act on the thoughts, and it is usually best if you don't. To friends of Sanguines: Be patient with your friend's mood swings. It is a very confusing time, and hard on them. They will be truly appreciative for your stable support.

INCREASED SHARPNESS OF CANINE TEETH

Neither. If your Canines are getting sharper, Sanguine or normal, it probably means you have been wearing on them. Take note of things you do when nervous or irritated, and ask if you grind your teeth in your sleep. You will probably find times where you grind the canine against other teeth, which may cause a sharper feeling.

DEPRESSION/FEELING ALONE

Puberty. Congrats, you are a teenager. Don't worry, you'll live. Unglue the back of your hand from your forehead and go mope.

PREFERENCE FOR NIGHT OVER DAY

Neither. This is normal. A lot of people of many ages prefer night to day or vise versa.

As you can see, most of the things people typically attribute to awakening are more likely due to puberty. So what does change? Very little. After awakening, you are still who you were before, only the what has changed... or more accurately, the realization of what. People aren't "turned" sanguinarian, it is a born-with condition. Typically, the light-sensitivity and "empty" or "not-whole" feeling many sanguines experience are present before awakening, just the reasons for the "not-whole" feeling isn't known.

When awakening occurs with a trigger (such as an instinctive reach for blood, or blood ingestion not your own) the awakening seems to be quicker and smoother. The person sees the stimulus, feels the reaction to blood ingestion, and the only major hurdle are mental ones. This is not to say these mental hurdles are small ones. Based in religion and sociology, from a young age we are taught that drinking the blood of anything is bad. This belief is stronger in some countries then others (such as United States vs. African nations) and so the strength of the mental blocks will vary based on each persons background and beliefs.

Without a trigger, the awakening process is either much harder, or possibly completely blocked. The sanguine doesn't have something to fall back on to associate the cause with the effect. They also don't have the trigger to help break some of the mental barriers.

Now, nobody can tell you if you are or are not a sanguinarian just by a description of yourself sent by e-mail. It would be like making a medical diagnosis without seeing the patient. All I can tell you to do is look inside yourself, and decide for yourself if you are or are not. I can't do that for you.

~Sarasvati


This article is presented as part of an ongoing effort to present other views outside of, as well as within, the online vampire community. As such, the views and attitudes contained in this article are entirely those of the author(s), and may not necessarily be shared by SphynxCatVP. The webmaster is not under obligation to update or otherwise keep current the contents of this article. Most importantly, only you can decide for yourself whether this article or any of the author(s) other views are useful or applicable to you - use your own reasoning and judgment.


Contact Author(s):
Sarasvati Faolchu         E mail.          

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