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This is a question i imagine puzzles quite a few people, and i know that
many vampires are disturbed by it: why do we donors, we crimson and crystal
and amber swans, give of ourselves the way we do?
It is a tricky question for me too, which i have spent some time thinking
about. as is to be expected i have found many reasons for becoming donors,
some of them quite simple and straightforward, some of them complex and
possibly troubling.
At a very basic level i have come to distinguish three, possibly four
types of donors (i’m not sure that the fourth type actually exists,
but i’ll get to that later). the first type is what i call the compassionate
donor. the second i call the fetishistic donor. the third, which i think
could possibly be conflated [combined] with the second, is the
vampire fan. finally, the fourth type of donor is what i call the “natural”
donor. from what i’ve seen these are quite distinct types of donors,
they have distinct motivations and behaviours.
The Compassionate Donor
The compassionate donor is one of the easier cases to describe. They
are usually already involved with the vampire they donate to, often
romantically, before they learn of their partner or friend’s vampirism.
They become donors after their vampire confides in them, and do so out
of a desire to help their loved one. They are usually single-vamp donors,
and stop donating if the vampire leaves their life. They are sometimes
possessive of their vampires, and if they are romantically involved
they might insist that the vampire not have other donors.
The Fetishistic Donor
The fetishistic donor gets sexual pleasure from donating, or from activities
associated with donating. They might be blood-fetishists who get a kick
out of the blood-play, or deep submissives who allow their dominant
to use their body as they wish, or people with any of a dozen or more
other fetishes. Many vamps seem to be wary of fetishistic donors, because
they conflate [confuse] sex and vampirism; while combining the
two can be fun, vampires are usually insistent that their feeding is
not sexual, and many insist on separating feeding and sex. Fetishistic
donors are often relatively indiscriminate about who they play with
– and it is play in the bdsm sense to them – and might be
just as happy to bleed for a non-vamp as a vampire.
The Vampire Fan
The vampire fan as a donor is a difficult case, and I’m not exactly
sure that they exist/actually donate. They are people attracted to vampires
for the perceived allure of the vampire as transmitted through the media.
For them, becoming a donor is almost a status-symbol, they step into
the aura of the vampire and inherit some of it’s allure. As a rule,
I think these would be much more likely to be found with lifestylers
than with real vampires.
The Natural Donor
The donors i have chosen to call natural donors are possibly at once
the easiest and the most difficult to understand. Easy, because we have
a very simple explanation for why we become donors: it is simply what
we feel is right. Difficult, because we cannot properly explain why
this feels right.* We have a deeply rooted desire to donate, sometimes
so intense that we call it a need. Many of us experience donating as
pleasurable. Like vampires we are very aware that a donor/vampire relationship
is not sexual, and of all the donors we’re the ones least likely
to conflate [confuse] vampirism and sexuality. We’re also
the ones who, if asked to compare between the two, will say that donoring
is much bigger than sex.
These is very much my own attempt at a typology of donors, it’s
based only on my own observations. i am not claiming that this is recognised
by the wider vampire community. these categories aren’t exclusive
either, any combination of these is possible; and there are undoubtedly
donors who won’t fit in any of them, who have their very own motivations
for donoring. so don’t take this as gospel, indeed, don’t take
anything of what i say as gospel.
In a future post i plan on talking about how i came to become a donor,
and what donoring feels like for me. perhaps that will also give some
insight into why i am a donor.
* While of course not implying any equivalency between sexuality
and vampirism, i do think that a possible analogy for what i mean when
i say that donoring feels “right” to us can be found in sexual
orientation; i’m pretty sure that only a small minority of people
can explain why they swing the way they do.
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