Let us meditate a bit further upon an abstract individual who we might considering a member of a community. Why do you consider him a member of this community? Does he consider himself a member of this community? Why does he want to be considered a member of this community? Does he have a functional relationship towards the community? Does this relationship function towards his benefit, the benefit of the community, or both? What is this individual capable of accomplishing? What is this individual willing to accomplish? What is this individual willing to accomplish for the sake of the community in question? What is the language of this individual? What is the dialect of his language?

There are many languages in the world and there many theories about how languages relate both to thought processes and external communications. George Orwell made popular in 1984 the idea of "New Speak", in which the English language was systematically reduced in an effort to control thoughts: if you do not have the words to think of an abstract idea, you can not and will not think of it. Nor, if he could think of it, could he communicate a dangerous but abstract meme to another person when the language does not provide an adequate common tools.

New Speak, however, is not and most likely shall never be a problem. Our problem is quite the opposite. The English language has been growing at a phenomenal rate. This growth contains countless words, phrases, and terminologies which are unique to certain localities, heritages, ethnicitys, cultures, and professions. Even if the sound of the word is not unique, the application of the word may be. But the application may not be entirely different: there may be a subtle difference that only creates a problem when people fail to realize that there is a difference to acknowledge and act upon. Some words even become loaded with more meaning then they are actually defined to have because of the experience that an individual or collective has had with the use of this term. This loaded terminology can inadvertently trigger emotional responses.

But the problem of language is not just a problem of verbiage. This is only the most obvious component of communication. Other components include inflections, eye contact, and body language. As communication is increasingly removed from physical face-to-face confrontations, much of this supplementary information is lost. The assumptions made in their stead can commonly lead to disasters.

There is a theory which suggests that every human actually possesses and uses his own unique language. Usually, the people who he attempts to communicate with are in possession of languages with enough overlap that correct communication occurs, leading to the correct results.

But the language and medium which a person uses in his attempts to send out his messages only represents half the formula for communication. The other half is the language and disposition of the recipient(s). Even presupposing that the recipient has a completely compatible language experience (which may not be true), he may be wanting or expecting a certain response. This may colour his ability to correctly interpret his input when he hears it.

Language schools, for a very long time, have treated listening, like reading, as a "passive" skill (in opposition to the "active" skills of speaking and writing). But, while to hear is passive, (as language schools are now discovering and acknowledging), to listen is an active process. The recipient can not merely allow noise to come to his ears and react equally to every noise that approximates his expectations. He must engage the sounds (and/or other signals) to determine their actual meanings and (more importantly) their actual intentions (which may not be the same thing). Failure to do this can result in misunderstanding, antagonism, and even a complete breakdown of communications.

* * * * *

A community is made up of many individuals, each in possession of his own language. An individual has his own will, talents, and skills. Left to his own devices he will apply his talents and skills as he sees best fitting towards his own agenda.

Humans are naturally social creatures. Experience, circumstance, and perhaps random mutation may occasionally render them otherwise. But there is an innate (even if ambiguous) desire to bond. This may be merely social or it may be functional. In order to bond, there must be a medium of communication. For social bonding, this medium may be very primitive and unsophisticated. However the more sophisticated the function of any bond, the more sophisticated must be the language to accomplish it.

There are many reasons why someone might want to bond for functional purposes: To take advantage of skills, talents, or resources he does not personally possess. To save time, energy, or other resources (either by avoiding redundancy or exploiting the other's personal resources). To feel useful. As an excuse for social bonding. The process of communication must be used to find partners with the necessary skills, talents, or resources; to allocate responsibilities and enter agreements, and communicate relevant data during the task.

The more complicated the task being rendered and the more people whose efforts must be combined, the more complicated it becomes to organize all this communication and render decisions. This is where leadership comes in.

A good leader is the hub of any operation. Whether the function is a matter of fun or a matter of urgency, the leader is the one who is responsible for the task being done. Whether he works directly or through delegates (who must exercise their own communication skills), he must learn the community's resources and he must allocate tasks. He must motivate workers and he must arbitrate disputes. To do this a leader must be able to listen to the wants and needs of his people. And he must be able to speak to them in a language that they will understand and not be offended by. A leader who fails to collect enough information will be working with a handicap. A leader who fails to communicate will not yield results. A leader who offends will inspire anything from passive-aggressive resistence to outright mutiny.

A good leader does not only communicate with the community he serves. He must also communicate with other leaders. Some tasks (whether social or functional) may want or even require the combined efforts of multiple communities. Even when there is no joint function involving the communities, the leader is a representative of his community. His communications with people outside his community reflect upon the membership of his community. His successful communications can lead towards the alliances of third parties. His failures, conversely, can lead towards third party animosities.

Because communication is so much more important for a community leader, the leader of the community must be that much more careful, both to make sure that he is understanding properly and properly being understood. He must be expect and be prepared to handle even the most subtle of cultural and linguistic differences. He should be patient and not be surprised if there are communication failures. He should be careful not to perceive slights where they were not intended. Even if he perceives that an insult was indeed intended, he should avoid being reactionary. There is no advantage to be had from escalating a bad situation. Nor do you do yourself, nor your community, any favors when you make yourself seem petty, immature, paranoid, crude, or belligerent.

By remaining level headed in the face of adversity, you avoid burning bridges and making enemies. You maintain the respect, if not of your adversaries, than at least of any third party witnesses. You allow for a quicker and easier reconciliation, if not between you and the one who offended you, at least between yourself and the rest of your offender's community.

It is not for nothing that common folklore makes a gentleman of the devil. The soothing tongue makes him more delightful to converse with. It tempts those who disagree to more willingly listen to the arguments and be persuaded thereby. His persuasiveness makes him more apt towards inspiring people to take his deals and pursue his goals, thereby fostering accomplishments of a larger scale. The effective leader - while perhaps having a kinder heart, having better intentions, and ideally being more honest than the devil - would do well to contemplate and make use of this legendary methodology.

In order to heighten your abilities as a listener, you are advised:

1. Never assume you speak the same exact language as the person who is attempting to communicate with you. If words or phrases are known to have multiple or ambiguous meanings, or if you even see a potential for confusion, ask for clarification.

2. Never assume that the manners of a person will match the manners you have been accustomed to. In America, a toothy smile might be construed as a sign of pleasure. In Japan, that same smile will be seen as a sign of aggression. Don't assume that a failure to give you the jesters of respect that expect is meant as a transgression against your person, status, or organization. And be wary of assuming that any seemingly-offensive jesters are intended to be interpreted as such. When in doubt about a person's intentions, ask.

3. Never assume that a person you are speaking with knows exactly what he is saying or implying with his words or actions. People tend to understand themselves and optimistically assume that therefore everyone else should therefore be able to understand them. They may not be aware how their language may seem loaded or their flow of information may appear to contain gaps or inaccuracies. Don't assume the speaker's intentions or incompetence: ask for further clarifications.

4. Realize that some speakers may be overly optimistic about his abilities and the abilities of those he represents. While a chronic history of errors may be cause for valid concerns about a person's competence, errors of optimism should be expected and the failures that expose them shouldn't be interpreted as insults, either to you, your intelligence, nor your organization.

5. As a listener, you may be presented with ideas that you find false or uncomfortable. While some intelligent debate may be in order, avoid interpreting the disagreement as personal when it often may not be intended as such. Be prepared to agree to disagree.

6. Third party information should be taken, but with a grain (or even a bottle) of salt. It should never be assumed that your speaker is aware of all the facts, nor is altruistic of intention. The speaker may have legitimate reasons for making projections, but his opinion does not confer the whole story. There may be misunderstandings and unfair biases.

7. Do not assume you have all the information or the best information. Do not assume you are the best capable of processing the information to the correct conclusions. Be prepared to accept new information and alternative answers.

In order to heighten your abilities as a speaker, you are advised:

1. Never assume you speak the same exact language as the person who is attempting to communicate with you. If words or phrases are known to have multiple or ambiguous meanings, or if you even see a potential for confusion, attempt to clarify yourself before misunderstanding occur. When using specialized terminology before an unknown or uncertain audience, define your terms before you make further use of them. Be prepared to accept and even invite questions.

2. Never assume that the mannerisms you extend will be correctly interpreted or reciprocated by the person you are speaking with. If you do not receive the expected or appropriate responses, use other forms of communication to confirm that your jesters were perceived and intentions understood.

3. Consider your audience when speak, speak to them not at them, insuring that you are communicating at their level of understanding. Never assume that a person you are speaking with knows exactly what you are saying or implying with his words or actions. You may be overly optimistic in your own ability to understand yourself. Even if your words are accurately understood, your full intentions or personal agenda might not be. You may be a saint, but your listener may live in a world of sinners and be extremely and appropriately jaded before being exposed to your sermon. Pe prepared to accept and even invite questions. Be willing to accept careful scrutiny.

4. Be responsive rather than evasive. Evading the questions shows that you have something to hide and can be interpreted as disrespect. It also inspires discomfort and distrust.

5. Be respectful instead of patronizing. Your ideas and intentions may seem obvious to you, but your listeners may have completely different experiences. Speaking down at people can seem insulting. Gage your audience's intelligence, maturity, and sophistication and respond at the appropriate level. Be attentive as towards whether you have gaged correctly and make adjustments as necessary.

6. Be discrete. Sharing, or even asking for private information, may not only be rude but can inspire distrust.

7. As a speaker, you may be presenting ideas that your audience find false or uncomfortable. Your ideas may be challenged and the words used to challenge them may seem inappropriate. Keep your arguments level-headed, rational, and impersonal. Do not allow yourself to be taunted into bickering. While intelligent debate may be in order, avoid allowing or causing an intelligent discussion to degrade into combat. Be prepared to and extend the offer to agree to disagree.

8. Do not return coarse language or bad manners in kind. This can only escalate bad situations. Instead offer polite responses intended either to bring the focus back to the issues at hand or to steer the dialog towards "safer waters".

9. Exert discretion when speaking of third parties. Your information may not be correctly projected or understood. You can mislead your audience into either undo trust or hostility towards that party. This will reflect badly upon you. It may also reflect badly upon you if your audience already has a vastly different opinion of the party and is inspired to be defensive towards the party or hostile towards the party. When offering comparisons or contrasts, consider whether you are doing either yourself, your listener, or the third party any potential favors by proceeding with the discussion, or whether you are just arousing anger to no good end.

10. Be honest and up-front with your personal and organizational goals and your personal and organizational abilities. Present the truth in a timely manner. Truth often finds its own outlets. This can lead to either individual or mutual embarrassment(s), confusion, distrust, a break down in communications, and even animosity. Being honest early on can preempt some or all of these potential problems.

11. Be humble about your identity, your motives, and your abilities. Hubris inspires disdain while mistaken optimism inspires distrust.

12. Do not assume you have all the information or the best information. Do not assume you are the best capable of processing the information to the correct conclusions. Be prepared to accept and respond to questions and criticism.

Applying this advice should allow you to create and maintain better communications both inside and outside your community. The better your communication, the more effectively you can lead your community towards glorious accomplishments.

This article is presented as part of an ongoing effort to present other views outside of, as well as within, the online vampire community. Those of us who consider ourselves vampiric don't always look at things from the same viewpoint due to our life experiences. As such, the views and opinions contained in this article are entirely those of the author(s), and may not necessarily be shared by SphynxCatVP. The webmaster is not under obligation to update or otherwise keep current the contents of this article. Most importantly, only you can decide for yourself whether this article or any of the author(s) other views are useful or applicable to you - you are responsible for using your own reasoning and judgement, so judge wisely.

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