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A question was asked on a list:
"I only drank a couple drops, but it made me feel things that I had never
felt before. I was feeling a lot less drained than I had been for days before
this (ah hell, I was ENERGIZED!), and I got a really strong sense of hunger.
I can't wait to be able to do that again *grin* I'm just curious, how did others
of you feel after the first time you had drunk someone else's blood?"
Sarah Dorrance answers:
The first time I ever had blood was during that orgy with David and Michelle,
but it wasn't more than a drop or two, and I also hadn't quite fully woken up
to myself yet (although I have to say that changed pretty dramatically after
the encounter). I'd exhibited a tendency to play succubus during sex, and noticed
that while Cass (my first girlfriend) was drained after she performed magic,
as were all her friends in the circle, when I did my own spells they left me
feeling incredibly horny, because they all seemed to tap into my libido. I speculated
that I used a completely different source of energy, and she agreed. I'd always
been nocturnal, also. That was about it.
After Dave and Mickey, I started getting the photosensitivity, enhanced psychic
abilities, etc.; and I manifested an actual craving for pranic force, whereas
before I just sort of took it. I rarely had a lover or friend who was willing
to donate blood. The closest I got were people who didn't mind my biting, scratching,
or otherwise getting violent during sex; I could get a little from the wounds.
Masochists are fun because they produce enough endorphins to get you stoned,
and the endorphins keep them from being hurt by what you do to them (within
reason).
Still, that was nothing compared to the first time I had a good-sized mouthful
of blood.
"Stoned" doesn't even begin to describe it. I had electricity pouring through
me (at least, that's what it felt like). The taste was similarly electric. It
was sweet fire in my mouth. I don't know if the emotional intensity was due
more to the contact with the blood itself, or due to my own gratitude, and the
trust and fear that my then-boyfriend offered up to me. He was usually a top;
I was the first woman he'd really switched for. I actually think it's scarier
surrendering yourself to a top who has some submissive tendencies, especially
those that mirror yours. Their imaginations are usually much more creative,
and they often know you inside out a lot quicker. I suspect that he felt the
same way about me.
After that, I didn't get more than a drop or two of blood - he was scared of
blades, which I can appreciate - and that by biting. We broke up in the summer
of 1995. I had a few donors later that year (again, masochists who got off on
pain and allowed me to do things that would incidentally draw blood) and then
I didn't get to feed at all until this May.
When I did feed on energy and a single drop of blood for the first time in three
years, I accidentally caused a tornado in the front yard of my home in Cincinnati
(overseas). Apparently that explosive intimacy had to be released in a rather
unconventional manner. I still don't know exactly how that happened, just that
the next night my fiancée calls me up on the phone (overseas long-distance)
and asks me in an amused tone of voice, "All, right, Sarah, who and what were
you doing last night? You caused a tornado. It took out half of our shade tree."
When I got my first mouthful of blood for the first time in a little over three
years, I was intoxicated. I'm afraid I don't remember much of that night. I
remember being so drained that I could barely stand - I can't remember why.
That might have been the night I cast a circle to take some of myself and put
it into a charm for an acquaintance who had performed a spell for me a while
earlier, and I'd wanted to repay the favor. Sounds right, so that was probably
it. Anyway, I was rather faint and dizzy at the time, not up to my usual methods
of removing blood (which, while gentler than they had been on some of my other
lovers and donors, still required a certain output of kinetic energy) and my
donor made an offer and it just sort of happened. I can't remember if I was
crying at the time; I think I wanted to. I don't know how long I took, though
knowing my appetites, it had to have been a good while. I'd forgotten how incredibly
good blood tasted. Richer than anything I'd ever ingested. I felt like flying
afterwards. Once the wound got bandaged up, and I turned off the lights, it
was then that my donor informed me that my eyes were glowing a bright yellow,
and I freaked out.
Part of the reason I formed this list was because of that incident. I am a skeptic,
and a bit of an empiricist. I like things that have a rational explanation,
that fit into the "real world" (don't get me wrong, I love fantasy, I just like
to draw a sharp line between fancy and reality) and can be observed objectively
by "sensible" people. I believe in common sense. When weird shit like having
a basically rational, sensible donor tell me that my eyes are glowing occurs,
I kind of get nervous. I needed to talk to other people about this. Suddenly
I felt very self conscious. It's one thing to have a blood fetish, or to take
life force/pranic energy from other people. Blood fetishes are almost passé
in the Goth subculture (at least, they USED to be) and "psychic vampirism" (I
don't use this in the sense that Dion Fortune and Anton LaVey meant the term
to be used) is fairly common, if not accepted, in the New Age/Wiccan crowd.
Accidental tornados, glowing eyes, surviving a bus collision and a suicide attempt
that were supposed to have killed me, etc. and above all, the damned addiction/craving
are NOT "normal." Somewhere I had crossed an invisible line, and I felt very
small and lonely and frightened. And I figured that I couldn't be the only one
out there feeling that way. Not with six billion people on the planet, millions
of them on the Internet. Hence the support group.
This article is presented as part of an ongoing effort to present other views outside of, as well as within, the online vampire community. Those of us who consider ourselves vampiric don't always look at things from the same viewpoint due to our life experiences. As such, the views and opinions contained in this article are entirely those of the author(s), and may not necessarily be shared by SphynxCatVP. The webmaster is not under obligation to update or otherwise keep current the contents of this article. Most importantly, only you can decide for yourself whether this article or any of the author(s) other views are useful or applicable to you - you are responsible for using your own reasoning and judgement, so judge wisely.
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