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I have received a few e-mails lately centering around the questions "Is
it really that bad?" and "are you really that bad?" Well, really,
no. Granted, its not all the books make it out to be, but its not exactly a
life of eternal hell and torment either. Its a balance, really like any life.
What follows is mostly from my own point of view, as others have had more difficult
or easier lives... just as non-sanguins may have more difficult or easier lives.
Essentially, this is sanguin life in a nutshell...a small nutshell...much condensed.
THE GOOD
Some of what I view as the good parts of being sanguin are really only tentatively
connected, but connected non-the-less, so here they are. Among the good things
are my health, my sight, and my low grocery and electrical budget. Most sanguins
don't seem to get sick as often as most people, and recover quickly when they
do get sick. Frankly, I love this idea. Laying in bed with the cold is very
low on my list of enjoyable things :P I value my sight as well. Because my
eyes are light-sensitive, I can see better in the dark then most people. I
find this good for a lot of reasons, most of them having to do with my love
of roaming around after dark :) Since I don't require much light in my house,
it keeps my electrical bill low too! I don't have to turn on the light right
when I wake up as well... so I can avoid that shooting pain your parents are
so fond of waking you up with ;) I don't eat much, especially right after
I have Fed or if I haven't Fed for a long period of time. Saves a bundle in
grocery bills :) Though, I will qualify this. Low hunger levels isn't necessarily
connected with being a Sanguin. Some Sanguins experience increased hunger,
or no diet change at all. Seems highly variable. But, as I said at the top,
this is mostly related to my experience.
Non-physically, I could say it has given me a strength I didn't know I had
before. A strong will. To continue to go day by day and not let it wear me
down has given me some mighty strength. It has also given me a very strong
sense of self. To be able to keep it in check and not let it wear at me I
had to discover more about myself then most people. Learn limits I didn't
know I had, and break limits I thought I had. In the end, it has built up
my spirit considerably.
THE BAD
Knew it couldn't be all good, I hope. The bad... well, the big Bad is that
nasty gnawing hunger/thirst that sticks around and is hard to shake off. Its
distracting at best, debilitating at worst. The light sensitivity isn't great
either. Nasty sun-induced migraines. The fatigue is hard in the morning. To
wake up and try to drag myself to class, then stay awake in class. Especially
since I know that come six or seven that evening I'll be wide awake and find
it hard to go to sleep again. Lack of concentration is difficult as well,
though I know this can be over come, its very difficult to study or pay attention
when "blood" is all that's on your mind. Tends to make me irritable
and snappish with friends, which I don't mean to be. Also, the digestive problems
are not fun. Its seldom consistent or predictable when you digestive tract
will up and decide it doesn't want that food after all, then trigger your
body to get rid of it as fast as possible.
Mentally, its hard. Its living with a rock in your stomach that you can't
tell most people about. This wears on the mind and can, and often does, lead
to depression. To have to constantly make up new excuses as to why you are
so grouchy and edgy (PMS only works a few days a month, ladies, I know!) The
"whys" start to wear on the spirit as well, because we don't yet
know all the answers... or even half the answers. So it gets very frustrating
trying to answer "whys" we don't know, to others and in our own
minds.
THE UGLY
Most of the really nasty stuff revolves around Twoofing and the Beast. Though
I would like to say sanguins are no more violent then most people, at these
times I am not sure I can. A well-Fed sanguin is a pretty happy and normal
camper. Underfed and frustrated though, sanguins tend to fall toward the more
nasty and aggressive sides of ourselves. These are the real Uglies. The parts
that just want blood, want it NOW and don't really care how. It is not friendly,
comfortable, or "cool". Typically, a sanguin doesn't really realize
they are in this state until they come back out of it. At which time they
may be shocked to recall what they were thinking, what they said, or did.
A really nasty beast or Twoof can affect a sanguin for years, mentally and
physically. Its made worse because there are so few people we can talk to
about it. Its a stigma, almost, to admit to have fallen into one of these
states, Which is sad. It shouldn't be that way because this is when we need
to support each other the most.
Another ugly part is the excruciating pain that can occur when one doesn't
get to Fed for a long time. It can, and has, laid me flat on my back for hours.
Going to sleep and hoping its gone when you wake up is the best one can hope
for when it happens.
This article is presented as part of an ongoing effort to present other views outside of, as well as within, the online vampire community. Those of us who consider ourselves vampiric don't always look at things from the same viewpoint due to our life experiences. As such, the views and opinions contained in this article are entirely those of the author(s), and may not necessarily be shared by SphynxCatVP. The webmaster is not under obligation to update or otherwise keep current the contents of this article. Most importantly, only you can decide for yourself whether this article or any of the author(s) other views are useful or applicable to you - you are responsible for using your own reasoning and judgement, so judge wisely.
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