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Good news and bad news.
The good news is, I've just this moment gained valuable insight into my nature
and the reasons behind many of my past actions that, until now, were inexplicable.
The bad news is, I'm screwed.
As most of you know, I've been doing a bit of energetic fasting both for the
accumulation of data and to make a good faith effort in helping my High Priestess
come to terms with my vampirism. A couple weeks ago, she gave me a nice-sized
bundle of her own energy and a few more suggestions to try to see if I could
get along without actually feeding on other folks.
For this past week, I've made an effort to cut down my caffeine intake (caffeine
temporarily makes the hunger go away, and also makes it harder for me to feed)
because my metaphysical senses were becoming frighteningly dulled with the constant
influx of stimulants into my system.
This afternoon, something inside me has woken up and said "I, MOTHER[bleep]ER,
AM [bleep]ING HUNGRY. I WILL FEED, GOD[bleep]IT."
I have since been waging a slowly-losing battle against a monumental desire
to start or jump into an emotional argument for the purpose of munching happily
upon the emotions therein. The actual sensation has been a large amount of unfocused
anger combined with a chip on my shoulder the size of a small country. The underlying
thought process all afternoon, on any subject where disagreement was possible,
has been "Yeah, mother[bleep]er, [bleep] with me, I [bleep]ing dare you.
I'll rip your [bleep]ing head off and drink you dry, in a [bleep]ing metaphorical
sense."
In an attempt to placate this immense desire to feed off an unwitting party's
consternation and anger, I went out to the coffee house and read some Confucius
and tried to do a bit of ambient feeding off the energy being shed in the vicinity
(which was a nice bit). As soon as I left, however, I was immediately unsatisfied
again.
My next thought is to run to the grocery store and buy about 40 bottled frappuccinos
and drain them over the course of the rest of the evening so that even if I
*do* lose it, I won't be able to actually feed at all because the tendrils will
be so contracted that it'd be like trying to suck a triple-thick milkshake through
a coffee stirrer.
I had yet another thought, which was to do my best for the rest of tonight,
get up early tomorrow, and wander into a church. However, I seriously doubt
that's any more ethical.
The solution I'm leaning towards at the moment, however, is disconnecting from
everyone entirely for the rest of the evening, reading more Confucius, doing
homework, taking Motrin for the throbbing pain in the center of my forehead
and sternum, and praying to every deity imaginable that it goes away before
I have to interact with other humans again.
This article is presented as part of an ongoing effort to present other views outside of, as well as within, the online vampire community. Those of us who consider ourselves vampiric don't always look at things from the same viewpoint due to our life experiences. As such, the views and opinions contained in this article are entirely those of the author(s), and may not necessarily be shared by SphynxCatVP. The webmaster is not under obligation to update or otherwise keep current the contents of this article. Most importantly, only you can decide for yourself whether this article or any of the author(s) other views are useful or applicable to you - you are responsible for using your own reasoning and judgement, so judge wisely.
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