WHY IS THERE "YET ANOTHER" VAMPIRE SUPPORT PAGE ANYWAY?

When I started this site back in 1999, there weren't very many vamp support sites online at the time - certainly not compared to 'today'- and most of them were geared for folks who'd been awakened for some time. I wanted the newly awakened folks (also referred to as "newbies") to have a place to go where they could get the basic information that they need.

Over the years, as more and more realvamp websites have come and gone online, and the number in existence has multiplied, I've gone beyond the original newbie-only focus and expanded into more generalized vamp support and philosophical musings on the nature of real vampirism and interactions within the community.

I do not have "an agenda" other than showing people that they are not required to join any organization or group in order to gain the knowledge they seek. I am still selective about what I link to, or what I have posted on my site. Each article has to either be useful to the vampiric community as a whole, or offer a fresh - and organization-neutral - perspective on things.

I do this because it's needed. Because someone out there, just randomly clicking links, might come across this site and find some piece of information useful. I'm not forcing anyone to read this site - if a viewer is offended, they are free to find something else to look at at any time.

"WHY AREN'T YOU PART OF <HOUSE/ORG/GROUP>?"
"WELL, IF YOU'RE NOT PART OF <HOUSE/ORG/GROUP> THEN YOU'RE NOT DOING YOUR PART!"

I avoid things that are propaganda for specific organizations and groups, particularly ones that demand active involvement from their members or "spreading the word". This is because newly awakened folks need to have the time AND SPACE to figure things out on their own, to decide where they want to go next. Bombarding them with what amounts to "This Is The Only True Way" will only confuse them over time, and drive them away in the long run once they find people who aren't trying to mold them into something they're not.

I also do not want to scare people away who have heard "x rumor" about "x organization/club/group" or who think the organization/group's leader is a complete asshole and don't want to have anything to do with them, even at the cost of being able to learn something. This site is, first and foremost, designed to educate, inform, and show that you're not alone in facing some of the problems realvamps will have. One does not need to be part of a group to learn to live with oneself.

In my opinion, joining a group or organization should *never* be among a person's first step. By staying out of these various groups and organizations, and remaining neutral, I am doing my part in leaving the information I have available to all.

"WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO COPE WITH, RATHER THAN EMBRACE, YOUR NATURE?"
"AREN'T YOU TRYING TO SUPRESS YOUR NATURE AND SWEEP IT UNDER THE RUG?"  

I do not hide from my nature, I do not "neglect myself" and I do not suppress it - in fact, I accept it quite readily, compared to some people's postings that I've read online. It just doesn't control me, and I do not feel I need to make a spectacle of myself - with clothing, behavior, or activities - in order to prove I am "embracing" or "celebrating" my nature. *snort*

Newly awakened people do not need that kind of pressure, either, especially if they're in "unfriendly" environments. They need more tips on how to keep it hidden, and how to cope, long enough for them to get out of their bad situations.

I do not "cope with" as much as I "understand" my nature - there is no reason to change (most of) what I do as a result of being a vampire, nor do I see a need to dump old friends who I've known for decades just because "they're not like me". (There's enough problems between people who don't like each other for some irrelevant difference already!) And, I just don't feel the rest of the world needs to know - it's none of their concern.

"HAVE YOU CONSIDERED LETTING JESUS INTO YOUR LIFE?"
(And similar comments of a you-just-need-religion nature...)

Pardon me while I roll my eyes and give you Yet Another Exasperated Sigh. That implies that Jesus, or God, or whoever/whatever your deity of choice is, is apparently unhappy with my life. Well, here's a newsflash: If the deity is that unhappy with my life, the deity will find a way to make it known!

If you really feel that you must pray for me anyway, I'm certainly not going to stop you. But please don't be compelled to send me e-mails consisting of "witness tracts", explaining how letting the deity into your life has made you happier, or suggesting I simply need to let the deity into my life because it will be a wasted effort. Unlike what some people believe, it is quite possible to have an good outlook on life that paralells that of spiritual or religious people, without being part of a particular religion.

I respect your belief in one or more supreme being(s), and will defend your right to have that belief - regardless of whether or not I agree with you. However, when you try and force it upon me, then Houston, We Have A Problem...

The fact that I don't subscribe to any particular deity or belief system certainly hasn't impaired my life in any way, and the more I read about overzealous conservative religious folk (not just Christians, it can be anyone, anywhere, any country) harassing gays, abortion clinics, women and children, telling people what they can and cannot think, and generally making people's lives miserable if they disagree with their heartfelt beliefs, the more I feel I made the right decision to not be a part of it. (i.e., "with friends like these, who needs enemies...") I don't need guidance from above to live my life - and certainly not if what I just mentioned is any example of what that guidance can be! - I have been given the gift of a brain and free will, and I intend to use it.

The following are my PERSONAL views
and do not reflect any official "community attitudes".
They are here because they are part of my personal philosophy.

You are created this way for a reason. Are you taking it upon yourself to question the Divine Plan of the Almighty Deity (or Deities)?  :P Admittedly, though I am not personally religious, I recognize that people do need to believe in something, whether it's a higher power or whatever. It seems to me that if you believe a "Higher Power" had a hand in your creation, that you are "The Way You Are" for a reason, but it does not necessarily have to mean that you're being "punished" for something you may or may not have done in a past life. It could be a test. It could be a cosmic joke ("Hey, we'll throw this at 'em and see how they cope, ought to be good for a few laughs!") or just plan random chance. *shrugs* I happen to believe that you are not given anything more than you can handle, and it's up to you to learn how to handle it.

If you cannot change the way you are, then stop agonizing over it. Agonizing over it is not going to make it easier, solve problems, or give you answers. Griping at the deity isn't going to change it either. If you have to look at it from the deity's point of view, then think of it as a challenge: If the deity didn't think you were capable of handling it, it wouldn't be there. The best way to deal with it is to understand it. BUT...we can't possibly hope to understand what we keep running away from, or what we refuse to acknowledge within ourselves due to our own fear.

Let's face it - being afraid of yourself is not going to help your path to understanding and self-control! I am self-aware. I am in control. I look the Beast in the face and acknowledge that it's there and it's part of me. I accept it, unafraid, as an integral part of my nature because I refuse to be afraid of myself. I recognize that yes, it can be dangerous. (Almost anything can be dangerous in the wrong situations...) However, because I recognize and accept it as part of myself, I am better equipped to recognize situations that could potentially get out of control, and know what I can do to avoid, or at least minimize potential problems. One of the benefits of this is that I am able, for the most part, to control my Beast, or at least minimize my visible physical reactions when "vamping out."

What you are will not be changed by what you are called. Or even by what you call yourself. It is your fear of accepting the truth about yourself that threatens you.

Fear serves a useful purpose as a warning mechanism; it is like an alarm clock telling you to wake up and become more aware. But if you don't "wake up" and turn off the alarm by dealing with the fear, the fear itself can become more of a psychic threat than the thing you were originally afraid of. You have power over your fear, and you can turn it off by confronting it and raising your awareness in response. When you experience fear, try getting in touch with its source, then make a decision about what you will do if the threat comes to pass. If you have prepared yourself and done all you can do for now to respond to the cause of your fear, it has served its purpose and you can safely let it go. But you cannot decide once and for all to not be afraid. Fear keeps coming up and you must continually deal with it. Dispelling fear is a daily ritual. Look your fears in the face. Can you do something about the fear right now? If so, do it. If not, acknowledge the fear and let it pass. We cannot live for tomorrow if we're stuck in the problems of yesterday. By exploring what we don't know, and facing our fears, we can learn new things and actually get to understand ourselves better. We can't be what everyone expects us to be, we can only be what we are. Total self-awareness, like any other thing, is there. We just need to go out and find it.

It is important for you to know and understand your limits, whatever they may be, in order to deal with the problem - whether to, do away with them completely, or at least know how to work around them. Stretch your mind, know your REAL capabilities, not what you perceive as your capabilities. We limit our potential - it is not life that is unfair, it is us who are unfair to ourselves! It is the fear of failure that causes us to accept the limitations that we impose upon ourselves. If we manage to break the limits we impose on our ambitions and capabilities, we will reach a higher quality of life.

Life is about choices. Choose to go. Choose to stay. Choose this or that line of work. Choose to express your inner self or choose to hide it. Choose to conform to what people expect of you, choose to not conform at all, or choose something in between. In the end, you'll have to make the choices. The question is, can you live with the choices you make? That is something only you can decide. Whether you consider yourself human or non, your Essential Self is still the same. Whatever it may be. Choose to deny it, and you end up fighting yourself as well as everything else. Choose to accept it, completely, and understanding will eventually follow. Allow yourself time to quietly panic if you must. :) When the world view radically shifts, it takes time to adjust. How long it takes to adjust will vary - just remember that an adjustment period is, indeed, normal for anyone.

Ah, the Beast. That which can drive you crazy seeking what you need. Unless you learn to control it, to face it, ACCEPT IT AS PART OF YOU, and deal with it, it will end up ruling your life. It is a hunger, like any other hunger, only you can't just waltz into the supermarket and pick up what you need. Blood (and/or energy) is the driving source of vampires, it's natural of us to want more.

Don't blame vampires for wanting blood/energy so badly, unless you are prepared to blame mundanes for wanting food. Yes, it can be a problem. Yes, you *will* have to learn to deal with it. The biggest hang-up any of us have in learning to deal with "The Beast" stem from society's (or religion's) preconceived notions that get ~unconsciously~ ingrained into the individual's world views.

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